At this time of year, we enjoy lengthening hours of daylight. The darkest days of December are behind us and the joys of spring ahead of us. The phrase at the start is the motto of the town where I grew up. It has an uplifting quality to it, suggesting hope and vitality. And it’s an ancient concept, featuring in both the Biblical creation story, where God said, “let there be light” and the Hindu creation story were Brahma created light and dark from his own person. Indeed, the Hindu festival of Diwali celebrates light to this day.
As a counsellor/therapist I understand light and dark in a particular way. Darkness suggests ignorance, avoidance, fear, inertia and compulsion. Light, on the other hand, suggests consciousness, attentiveness, confidence and agency. There is much written about SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and how people find themselves lethargic and even depressed in the winter. Are photons really so powerful? I don’t know, but I am convinced that the darkness outside stirs up the darkness inside.
Whatever we believe intellectually, what can we do to bring that promise of springtime to our own existence? Here’s a couple of tips. First, get out more! This means noticing the change in seasons, the activity of the natural world and the recognition that we too are animals embedded in nature. This time of year you may catch the scent of a viburnum or witch hazel blossom. Snowdrops and aconites are starting to flower. Trees carry the buds that will burst into leaf and flower, everything wrapped up in tiny packages. Who doesn’t feel more alive after spending time noticing nature rather than scrolling on social media or walking round a shopping centre?
We also need to connect with other people. Humans are social creatures – we were born into this world totally dependent on our care givers, unlike even large mammals who are running around a field by the end of their first day. My advice to anyone in danger of sinking into depression is not to be alone too much. We can’t always choose our company, but companions who can meet us emotionally as well as verbally or physically are likely to leave us feeling more alive. It’s often sufficient just to say to someone “Is it OK if I just hang out with you this afternoon. You don’t have to do anything. I just feel the need not to be alone.” If that isn’t possible, how about grabbing a coffee and sitting in a café? Or visiting a museum or art gallery. Or going for a swim. Places where even incidental contact with people gives the chance of exchanging a smile. And who doesn’t light up with a smile?
Adrian Tupper, Eyre Place Psychotherapist